What Is The Best Way To Ask For A Separation Or Divorce?

Every relationship is unique, and much of the work undertaken in online couples therapy is to navigate a lot of the difficulties, frustrations and wedges that can sometimes work over time to prise a strong bond apart.

It is introspective by nature and often provides a lot of illumination on both the people involved as individuals and the dynamic of that relationship.

If both people agree to couples therapy, that is usually a statement that they want it to work and are likely to make the commitment to themselves and to the bond itself to make the changes they need to ensure that everyone is happy and healthy.

However, sometimes the healthiest choice for the relationship is to end it, which could mean divorce or a break-up depending on the type of relationship.

The most important piece of information you need to know about breaking up is that it is not something you can take back. Never do it out of anger or frustration and absolutely do not use it as an ultimatum.

Make sure you are calm, give yourself lots of time to think about it and prepare your reasons. Whilst talking to someone is a good idea, avoid sharing the information with friends or family who might tell your significant other first.

Approach the topic with empathy, care and civility, even if you feel justified in your anger and frustration, hostility will only beget further hostility. Even in a relationship with clear issues, the actual words are very likely to take your partner by surprise.

Explain your reasons but avoid tipping over into blame, and once you have made your choice, be firm and clear.  

Do not go back on your decision; even if you try and give it another try, this will fundamentally change a relationship dynamic in a way that is very rarely salvageable.

Finally, in the case of a divorce, do not make any agreements, promises or arrangements outside of the very short term; if you have plans to move out then by all means say so, but property rights, child support, finances or anything like that are not appropriate to talk about without entering the legal process.

Contact and Appointment details

I can be contacted on 07411 512482. Alternatively you can email me.


If I am unable to answer the telephone please leave me a message and I will respond to you as soon as possible.


My practice is located in Chandlers Ford, Hampshire within easy access of Eastleigh, Winchester, Southampton and surrounding areas. There is free parking available and and my practice is located on the first floor of the building.

I am flexible and understand that sometimes life events prevent us from keeping appointments. I will always do my best to accommodate your requirements but I do require 24 hours notice if you need to cancel your appointment. Less than 24 hours notice may incur a cancellation fee.


Daytime and evening appointments are available Monday to Thursday.