It is an unfortunate fact of life that sometimes a beautiful relationship is not meant to last, even if neither person did anything wrong and both tried to save it through couples therapy or working at it.
Sometimes it is not meant to be, and if a relationship is not working, it can be the healthiest, most mature and best decision in the long term to end it on the best possible terms.
At the same time, it will often feel devastating. This is extremely normal, even with less adversarial breakups. For many people, it is not just the end of a relationship or a union, but the end of a future with that person.
You can always love again, even if it may not seem that way soon after a breakup.
As with any relationship, there is no uniform approach to how you should date after a divorce.
There is no timescale for how long it takes for you to move on. Some people in good situations do move on quicker than others who have a particularly fractious breakup.
It is important that you do give yourself time and space to process, however. It is fine to have a range of emotions, but it is best to enter a new relationship open and emotionally available.
This includes some of the tough work of looking into why your marriage or your long-term relationship did not work so that the mistakes that cause that grief and pain do not happen again.
A good way to tell if you are is if you can talk about your break-up or divorce without it either still being a raw nerve or without denial, dissociation and deflection. A therapist can help you with the work.
Look forward and take your time. Think about what you want, what you need and what is a dealbreaker for you, and look for people that fit you best.
Finally, be ready to trust yourself, both in terms of red flags and if there’s a bit of a spark that is worth pursuing.